Success is the greatest revenge...

I always thought of ways of getting people back for things they've done to me. But I've learned to forgive and forget, let your success show them what your made of...

Im not the jealous type, but damn....

Jealousy usually never gets to me, but it all depends on the person and situation now apparently... I actually really like the girl im with, we just had sex the other night, which was the funniest I've ever heard, but that's a whole different post alone. Anyways, she sends me a message the day after we had sex, saying if we were just friends or still talking. In my head i'm like whats going down here o_o. so I just reply "yea were still talking, I would assume so, unless somethings up?"
    she said nothing was up but that question got me questioning her question. But I play off the question like it was whatever. so then she leaves me another weird message on facebook, while I was asleep. Ill just copy and paste the fucking thing to make my life easier.

Her:"ermmmm tonights been kinda weird..and even though you don't know about it it still was about you..which sounds weird. I'm really tired..like almost asleep, past my half awake stage. but even if we can't fix our problem i still like you...like you're a really cool guy. and ya know how you said i made you wanna be a better person or something like that? well idk if you've changed or not but i actually became better tonight..like i made smart decisions that i normally wouldn't take. hahaha this is probably not making any sense so I'm gunna go.......(:"

Me:"Well it made sense when you said it just explain the whole situation of what happened"

Her:"so this guy had the house to himself last night and he kept trying to get me to come over but obviously i said no. (thats what made me wonder if we were still talking or what) but then he was trying to get me to come over and just hangout and he said nothing would happen and idk if you're talking to other girls or not but i knew id still feel kinda guilty for going over even if nothing happened. and then my ex called and like he can't get turned on with anyone else so he wanted to have one last time or whatever and i told him no and i said i liked someone and he's like "well nobody has to know" but i could never do that. like even now i feel like i need to tell you the truth and i feel bad even though nothing happened and even if u are talking to other girls too id still feel bad and now I'm jet kinda rambling on...but there was a time that i probably would've gone over to that guys house and i would've made dumb mistakes. id still feel guilty but i woulve gone but now like i wouldn't have gone cause i didn't and I'm rambling on again..."

I was glad she told me, but god that killed me, seeing other dudes trying to hit on her. That made my heart drop, I know she didn't do anything with these geeks, its just the thought of another guy trying to get with her. Pissed me off, but i'm not about to go on a man hunt, LOL.

Kinda makes me think about the Game. guys must really wanna fuck me up, i'm viewing the side of an AFC(average frustrated chump). It fucking sucks how the tables can turn that easily. Fucking hate that feeling, I hate the feeling of me not being able to be there for any girl im with and not being able to protect her. I feel like I just went back to square one. But that mindset can't possibly last long, god I hope not.

I also hate the feeling that the person you really like is about to be gone and be out of your life damn near forever. Shes leaving in a month, I can't do anything about it, but bite my tounge and say goodbye.

Falling for someone is probably the hardest thing someone can go through if theyre is a doomed outcome. Just terrible. I feel like I should cut her off now, but i'm so tired of not being able to finish something that I start. I need to follow this through until the brutal and bitter end...then its time to move on...

the only easy day was yesterday....

on the fence...

im currently in some what of a relationship now, she told me not to put a label on it "bf/gf". Since shes leaving to California in like 2 months. it sucks knowing shes a cool girl and all but I have to get my gaming mindset back on track. its hard to get the mindset back when shes damn near always on my mind. so im just on the fence of how im going to do things for the next 2 months. since technically im not her boyfriend then its just us talking and sex, so friends with benefits? I don't know.
   I'm not one to cheat, im strongly against it but i'm not in a labeled relationship. I feel like it would be wrong to have relations with another girl, but I don't want to lose my gaming momentum/mojo. I want to keep my peak and never fall from it. I feel like if I just hang on the coat tails of this girl then i'd end up regretting it and doing something stupid, like falling for her. It would just be an empty investment, so i'm just gonna try to keep my options open and keep on opening sets. Because i'll have to find her replacement and i'd rather have the replacement up for bat than looking for one after she leaves.
    it's gonna be tough though, like I said before i'm still in that relationship mentality, I gotta cut the crap and get my head out of the relationship ass. I'm not saying I don't want a relationship, i'm saying that this girl is an empty investment, only thing coming out of this which is nice, is sex, but that can only go so far.
    Let the games begin....

when you finally reach it, what next?

So, I've studied the art of pickup for about two years now. What I've never studied is how to keep a relationship going. I've reached the point of pickup that every PUA is looking for (at least a majority of them), the perfect girl. Ofcourse theres some circumstances that goes with this girl but, as a person and not including her past or future, I really like her. but the thing with me is that i'm terrible with relationships, and I am a little afraid that if this girl actually begins to work out that she'll be gone anyways because shes leaving for college. its a fucked up situation and this is a reason falling for someone should be the right person otherwise, well you know how it ends...
ugh shitty. anyways, summary: I like a girl, know pickup better than relationships, shitty feeling aka butterflys.

jack of all traits...

definitely not keeping up with that type of mindset, although I think about it quite often
, I just gotta keep the motion going. As long as I can think it then I can do it. It worked before, it'll work again...

a mild case of the "one-itis"

ONEitis ; is a common case of being fixated on ONE particular girl that he's consumed an exponential amount of time with yet has not been laid by her yet, it is very disastrous for a pickup artist because he then stops going out to meet other women.

Ok I have a MILD case of ONEitis with the high school girl. My game is on POINT. but i'm having trouble with my timing well because she is always busy with school or whatever. But I've just realized that me putting myself on hold (not completely, i'll say why not completely in a little). She's been getting information about me through other people and that's her way of getting to know me, which pisses me off. I want a girl to get to know me through me, not through others opinions. Sure i'm a pick up artist but i'm not following some stupid routines, or gimmicks. I'm being my self, just a lot more amplified!

Anyways I haven't been completely on hold because the other night I went out with some of my co workers to a club. And I was pretty drunk, wasn't trying to do game but I made out with a good amount of girls and only got one number. Usually when I try to really game my night would end with about 3-4 numbers, but honestly fuck the amount of numbers, I want quality over quantity anyday.

Back to ONEitis, the way I was told to cure it was to bang out a dozen girls, and if I still have the same feelings about the same girl then there truly is something there.

Something I've strayed from was the quote "Boys make excuses, men make changes." time to make some changes